Dear everyone that reads this blog,
Something very interesting just happened to me.
I came to the realisation that I am friends with someone who I’ve never had an actual conversation with. In fact, I don’t really know them at all. I guess you’re wondering how this actually happens, well, everytime we’ve ever conversed it’s been in banter, sexual inuendoes and complete and utter nonsense. It’s as though there is this person who takes over and becomes what everyone expects me to be instead of who I really am (apologies for the “dear journal” tone). I didn’t realise it was happening at all until I thought about the evening I just had and cringed about the light I had presented myself in.
It’s just not me.
I love having real conversations, yet am warey about the people I choose to have them with. With everyone knowing everyone else, you have to be careful who you trust. There are so many rumours flying around that you can have a pretty distinct picture of someone before you even meet them. Most of the time it’s wildly inaccurate as well. I have a serious side to me that not many people see because I’m normally making overly confident statements and telling stories that don’t shed the best light. It’s not me, I mean I am a confident person about certain things but I’m not as arrogant as I make myself out to be…or as materialistic. You cannot even begin to fathom how embarrassed I really am. I despise those girls who act as if they’re another person and here, I’ve been doing it with certain people for the better part of a year without even realising it.
Does anybody out there do this? I feel like I’m not alone in this because well, that would be highly unlikely. The world has 7 billion people, I’m sure there are people who have this flaw in common with me… There are probably people that have worse flaws than me even, this is at least some comforting news.
Until next time.